First of all, thank you for praying for the Doyle family. Little Faith passed away last night around 8 o'clock after a full day of being loved on and gently ushered into heaven by her family. We weren't there, but we hear it was a sweet time and I'm so grateful on their behalf that they had that gift.
There is very little change today for either of our girls, which is starting to wear on us. Penny is still not responding well to being weaned from the oscillator. Lydia is doing fine and has already been moved down the hall to our new set of rooms, but Penny can't be moved until she's at least on the conventional ventilator. I didn't expect it to be so difficult for me to have them separated again. I mean it's just a few steps down the hall, but it makes it impossible for me to feel like i can relax in either room because I feel like I should always be going to see the other one.
It's especially difficult with one baby doing well and the other struggling. It makes it complicated to fully enjoy Lydia's successes without being sad that Penny isn't having it as easy. We're both just getting a little impatient and disappointed with the situation. I know this is just the beginning of parenting 2 people at once, but I wouldn't want these feelings to go undocumented because I was afraid of appearing less than pulled together. The truth is, we're not pulled together and neither are you. So why should either one of us try to cover it up? That's right. We shouldn't.
- sweet little Penny to get her cute little butt off that oscillator
- Lydia to gain weight and begin her transition to bottle/breast feeding
- Jonathan and me as we learn how to deal
- the Doyles as they figure out how to carry on with life
Thanks so much for allowing us to be "not pulled together" with you.